[That was the most restful sleep Yua has had since coming to the First. Naturally it fell in one of the three main ways to get her to rest but the soreness of her coupling with Hades became naught but a distant memory as she had soon learned that it took her the entire day to rest up. Truly that long? She doubts it's just their activities that caused her to do much. She's surprised that none of the Scions came to check in on her and that's concerning. Usually Alphinaud or Alisaie try at least once and once she stepped into the Ocular, she learned why.
Naturally, it's a shitstorm.
Everyone is screaming at her because Alphinaud DID come to see her, only to find that Hades had scolded the boy and told him to let her be. He kept looking at her for a brief moment then away as if there's some kind of shame; not sure from which side honestly. It was the beginning of cracks to show in the foundation of the Scions as they learn that Yua did not deny having the ascian stay with her. And much more, how she was concerned about the tainted Light she was carrying within her and no one was bothering to tell her why or what to do with it.
She knew she stung the Crystal Exarch with her words and she wanted him to feel it. Oh she could see the signs of hero worship within him, after all, Asahi had it for Zenos and Alphinaud and Alisaie had it big for her during their early journey but this was ridiculous. For someone wanting to help her and save the world, he's keeping her in the dark and she has to agree with Y'shtola on not being able to trust him. Surely you could trust the same man who gave you connections to the Crystarium and have the run of the place, right? And yet, Yua couldn't help but wonder how much was he watching and how far it had gotten. No, he could never...perhaps not before but-! To someone else, the gesture is welcome and yet, now she feels uneasy. The only thing she doesn't feel uneasy on is Minfilia, the sweet child. She even came to check in on her after she stormed out and tried to talk to her. The conversation was enough to make her want to go seek out the original Oracle and make her choice. And so the group traveled to Amh Arang to seek out their fates but not without a few bumps in the road.
Seriously, fuck you Ran'jit.
They came to the desert with a girl named Minfilia and returned to the Crystarium with another named Ryne. Yua liked the new name and look, made her stand out more and gods did they need color; almost everyone within the immediate Scions had blond, silver or white hair, Yua included. But as they returned to the Crystal Tower, Ryne couldn't help but notice something.
"Yua? Did you know there's some dark aether within you?" "Huh?" "I can sense both the Light and the Dark in your body."
Y'shtola herself couldn't put her finger as to why since before, she could only sense the Lightwarden's aether pulse within her but Ryne speaks again.
"I think...that might be Emet-Selch's doing. Somehow his aether must have gotten combined with yours and is helping you."
Yua knew that both times she and Hades had made love or even gotten close, their aether seemed to dance together, let it seep into her body as a way to calm her. It surprised the miqo'te to learn that it was an ascian of all people helping out the Warrior that she had to ask if she was sure.
"No, I think...Ryne is right. There were a few times that I had felt his aether around me and mine around him." Yua had to speak up and thankfully the man was not nearby otherwise he would have crowed at the attention, being smug that somehow HE helped her and they did not. Afterwards, they told Yua to go rest for a bit with Y'shtola adding on a 'I will take you over my knee if you don't' line followed by Yua replying with "Don't give him ideas."
Look, she made a dirty joke and it took everything for Yua not to bite back. Ryne might be a teenager but Thancred and Urianger would kill their Warrior if she did that. Dads, she swears.
However as the sun was setting, turning the sky into a sea of glistening stars, Yua finds herself walking around the city as she takes the scenic route back to the Pendants. And yet, she hums a tune that she knows nothing about but feels like she does.]
Edited (spelling orz) 2019-11-28 08:50 (UTC)
THIS IS SO SHORT I'M SORRY I HAVE HAD WRITER'S BLOCK FOR SO LONG next tag will have introspect
[ Though the branches were not as thick and long as those of the Rak'tika Greatwood Emet-Selch had managed to find a tree that was suitable enough for his needs within the sanctuary that was the Crystarium. Coupling the shelter of the tree with the coming of night, the ascian could sit comfortably on the tree branch, his back to the trunk, spared from the harshness of the light. With eyes closed and hands clasped behind his head, Hades listened to the distant sounds of the city as it slowly lapsed from its' bustling nature and eased into the quiet night.
While it would have been more logical to remain in the shadows he found himself enjoying the security of napping in a tree. One of his more foolish habits as he knew Elidibus would remind him. But some habits, going as far back as they did, were difficult to break. And it went without saying that his presence was not welcomed under the eyes of the Exarch and the Scions within the Crystarium. Which was why as an added precaution he had favored a glamour to cloak his presence should anyone be unfortunate enough to spot the man so well hidden in the tree. And for a time it was simply that. The peace of solidarity that he was determined to focus on over the whirlwind that was his mind.
This peace was shattered the moment the familiar notes of one's humming reached his ears. His body went still as his eyes opened. For one beat, then two, he was frozen. The melody itself had registered first in his mind before it clicked as to the source of the voice.
In the blink of an eye Hades had moved from his perch in the tree to the ground below. His footsteps made hardly a sound as he moved to follow after the Warrior of Darkness, to ensure that no one was around or following her. He did not announce his presence until he was close enough for her to hear him. ]
I hope you had slept well, hero.
[ His voice was low, just a notch above a whisper. She would not have seen him but his words would have been heard so very close to her ear. ]
[That voice she hears makes her shiver lightly as her humming stops, trying to turn to see the one who is addressing her. Alas, she does not see her ascian love but she has a feeling he is staying rather close.]
Better when you are around. It has been a bit of a tiring trip this time around.
[Was he to her right now or left? Has he moved? Why go invisible now? Did he happen to run into the Exarch or something?]
But I'm wondering why you're not showing yourself. Did something happen while I was gone?
I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON WHO IS TERRIBLE AT TAGGING YEAH
[ There she goes feeding his ego once more. Really now, she should know better than to encourage the Ascian like that. His gloved hand finds its place on the small of her back but made no other sign of leading; In fact, he was simply content to follow for a moment or two longer, his voice giving away his position at her right side when he spoke up. ]
The boy came to your suite with the intention of waking you this morning. I merely instructed him that he and your companions were to leave you be until you had fully recovered.
[ Even though his glamour remained she would absolutely be able to tell the wicked grin on his lips as he went on. ]
Of course the mere sight of me in your chambers would not have sat well with your friends and have opted to remain out of sight for a short period. It has proven to be rather entertaining thus far.
Probably for the best. They weren't very happy when they found out about us except for Ryne.
[That talk they had did help make things a little better; she knows the Oracle has only been told about the ascians' deeds and her viewpoint may sound naive to most. But maybe the bias wasn't needed for this. Speaking of the girl--]
She told me something interesting too; that I seem to have both Light and Dark aether in my body now. Would you know anything about that?
[Rather curious but she wanted to have it confirmed. Yua doesn't feel as off kilter like before.]
[ Ryne. The latest of a long line of incarnations for the word of her Mother. The embodiment of all that stood against him, his brethren, and Zodiark. To hear his lover then speak of being the exception to the disagreement came to him as a surprise. His expression was of course unseen but his tone was notably a touch more somber in reply. ]
My, my-- to think out of all from your lot it would be the youngest to be so... accepting. Perhaps there is something to be said about youth nowadays.
[ Somber, but not without losing that cheek of his.
The hand at her back flexed, his fingers curling inwards ever so slightly when Yua spoke of the Oracle's observations. Of course the child would have noticed. From his lips a quiet sigh slipped free while his hand then slid across to her hip, a gentle tug to bring her to his side. He matched her steps as they walked but perhaps a destination should be decided upon sooner rather than later. ]
It is hardly a difficult matter to comprehend. Where there is light, there is dark. An abundance of light must needs be balanced and who better to balance the effects of the Light raging its war within you than myself.
[Oh. They really should find a spot to talk shouldn't they? Might be a bit odd if the Warrior of Darkness was speaking to herself. She'd touch his hand in return but again, people would question.]
She's a good kid and willing to make her own choices. Not many would at her age and I just sounded like an adult now. Boy is that awkward.
[Her steps decide to guide them both towards the Pendants since it would be the safest.]
You...wouldn't be harmed by all that light would you?
[ He follows her lead while he listens. While managing to refrain from chuckling at her astute observation of herself he patted her back just once where his hand was in gesture of faux comfort. When they were close enough to where the keeper of the suites stood behind the check in desk, he lowered his voice so that only she could hear. ]
You have more than enough to be concerned over, hero. It will do you no good to fret over yet another soul.
[A quick wave to the Keeper of Suites just to let him know she's going to rest in her room, no one still the wiser at noticing the paragon at her side. Gods it feels like the longest walk right now.]
I can't help it, been like this for awhile. And that includes you.
[She wants to be able to touch him soon. Mainly because he strangely feels nice to hold, that welcoming comfort. When she sees the familiar door, Yua takes no time in opening it and reaches for his arm, holding it tightly.]
[ His gaze flickers down to her hand on his arm and offered no resistance to being lead into her private suite. It is only when the sounds of the doors closing behind him does the Ascian finally allow for his glamour to drop, now able to be seen by the viera that was holding on to him. ]
Your worrying is unnecessary, my dear.
[ He said this simply, coupling his words with a small wave of his hand, as if he were trying to bat away said concerns. ]
[And it's a good thing he can finally be seen because Yua will take her other hand and place it behind his head while she moves to close the gap between them with a kiss. Quick for sure but gods, Yua wanted to do that since she came back.]
Hells, I've been wanting to do that since coming back.
One of these days you will need to learn to prioritize your concerns properly.
[ For a split second he was caught off guard by her taking the lead so suddenylu. And quick though it was, Hades chuckled lightly, the arm that was not restrained reaching up to caress her cheek. His gloved fingers cupped her face, his hooded gaze fixed intently on her. ]
[And it seems that he did too if he's looking at her so.]
It was not too bad except for Ran'jit trying to chase us again. But there was a shoebill following us almost the entire time while we were there. I would have brought it back but it decided to go away after defeating the Lightwarden.
A bird is hardly the strangest company you have kept in your journey thus far.
[ Whether or not he knew anything about the aforementioned shoebill, he doesn't offer any sign or hint of it. Instead, he allows himself another lingering moment of maintaining their connection of touch, before letting his hand drop from her cheek, now moving to hold her chin with thumb pressed below her lower lip. ]
Your unabashed honesty is quite endearing. Though perhaps you shouldn't let your companions hear you say that.
They already know about us so I can't possibly get what else would make them even more pissed.
[Thanks Alphinaud. Or was it Hades by answering the door?]
Although...they don't know about what I've been seeing of the city with the spires. I wouldn't even know how to begin with that.
[Or speak of their history. It's still a blur for her but she keeps seeing the place in her dreams. The same people in robes and masks and the same melody from a few nights ago. It's weird.]
It would be best for you not to begin with it at all.
[ At least, not yet. While the woman he was holding carefully in his hands to show promise, the others were still lacking in his eyes. Still they reminded blinded by their own path and not ready for the truth. Unworthy, even.
He then pressed a kiss to her forehead. A fleeting moment for affection. ]
T'would seem your journey today was a long one. I imagine you would prefer a quiet night of rest.
[How would that look in their eyes? Not only is their Champion sleeping with the enemy but has been getting flashes of memories that has no idea about? Either an ascian or he would be manipulating her. She doesn't believe he is considering how spooked he's been so far when it comes to her revelations. Alas, Hades would be correct on one thing:]
Quiet would be nice...do you mind staying with me?
[ There is a playful tone to his voice as he pulls back a fraction. But not enough to free him from her grip on his arm that is. Hades showed no signs of attempting to exit though, tapping his chin in a thoughtful manner despite this request requiring no thought at all. ]
Telling you that answer would make it much too easy.
[ With one final caress of her cheek, the Ascian made a motion to step out of her hold. ]
Change into something more comfortable and I will await your answer while I rest my head. I had been in the middle of a nap before you had awakened me.
[Of course he had to be the type to make her work for it despite being a constant napper. She shakes her head and shrugs, knowing that her version of comfortable differs from his own. But she does it with a smile while walking to the armoire and grabbing the first pieces of clothing that looks 'comfortable' while shedding off her current ones.
She speaks nothing of 'no peeking' since Hades already has seen her laid bare to him a couple times by now, therefore it being redundant to say anything. Yua does manage to change into a button down shirt and a simple pair of blue jean shorts. He did say comfortable, right?]
Oh dear, now I have to wonder how I did that. Did my aether come out and bug you or something?
[ In the time it took for Yua to find and change her attire, the ascian had already made himself at home upon her bed. Boots neatly set off to the side and his own clothing minimized to the button down shirt, pants, and gloves. Stretched out on his warrior's bed his hands were folded over his chest, eyes closing.
The corner of his mouth twitched, as if to fight back from an amused smile. ]
It is somewhat difficult to sleep when someone decides to stroll by humming so loudly.
[She shakes her head, shrugging and yet Yua cannot be rid of the grin on her face. Of course she would be the reason, her thoughts race while slowly climbing onto the bed while leaning into her love's form.]
I didn't realize you would be in that exact spot. But I do find myself humming that tune a bit more lately. It's rather odd.
[ An arm reached out so that his hand could find purchase resting upon her hip, ensuring that she remained at his side. But still Hades kept his eyes closed and let out a small huff of discontent at her words. ]
Hardly odd when you consider the circumstances. Unless you're implying you'd rather not be remembering and prefer to be blinded by this fog of your incomplete view of the matters at hand.
[ Though his words were a touch biting, harsh even, gloved fingers lightly trailed down her side as if to act in place of a soothing balm for them. ]
[He's lucky that the actions being performed speak louder than his words. Yua can't help but sigh quietly as she thinks on his words; not the ones meant to be insulting mind you but the first ones. The ones that imply that she should know it. Was it...part of her previous life?]
Not at all. But I have to wonder...did I know it then?
[But why that particular song? And how? Yua was good at playing music but not singing so why...?]
[ At first he held the answer back and allowed for silence to settle in between them for a moment, then two. His mind drifted a fleeting second- a flash of a memory resurfacing to accompany the song Yua had been humming before. Again he resisted the urge to smile. Instead, Hades shifted his hand from the spot at her hip to nestle in her hair, fingers entwining in the soft strands. ]
You did. That was how I knew whenever you were in a particularly pleasant mood-- you would hum that melody each and every time something went well for you.
[So it brought upon a happy memory for him? It would be nice for Yua to remember it but it's strange how these memories like to reel her in; to give her a sneak peek and only have it end when the answer is so close. Just who was she long ago? Why was it that she only seemed to gain these past visions around Hades? If he was spared and she had died long ago, what happened?
And now...what next? She and the Scions are undoing all of his work and he seems to be fine with it? She feels like there's something she cannot connect, just like these memories. Will she change if she remembers them all? Would she lose herself? Yua can't tell but her thoughts calm down when she feels his fingers through her hair.]
Wish I can remember the words...or how I came across it.
[ Anything more would give too much away too quickly.
She had to retain her memories at her own pace and he could not rush this, no matter how much he wished to. With her soul still only partially whole too many memories could easily overwhelm the viera and harm her, or worse-- he frowned at the thought and immediately set it aside. It would do him no good to dwell on the what ifs.
Continuing to play with fiddle with her hair Hades finally opened his eyes, gaze fixated on the ceiling. ]
I am certain you will. You've come this far already after all. Now it's simply a matter of time.
[What could happen if she tried to force them? That her past self would override who she is? Would she be alright mentally? She usually calls herself a functioning mess but would this make her unable to?]
It just surprised me. I've never been good at singing before and just accepted it and now this? What else am I not aware of?
[And what else is lurking underneath the surface? Was she...a horrible person before? Maybe it's some kind of karma that made her go through a lot of the crap she went through. The thought makes make her feel tense, unable to help it.]
[ There was no mistaking the tension he sensed from her. This simply would not do.
With a faint sigh he coaxed Yua to move--] Up. [--helping to shift her body until she was straddling his waist, all while he easing himself to sit up right. Then, framing her face in his hands as his thumbs were now stroking the tops of her cheeks in a soothing gesture. ]
My dear, you are so much more than those you choose to surround yourself with. Should they forsake you or turn you away for who you truly are then know that you still have your place by my side.
[ Then, leaning forward, Hades brushed his lips against her own, a soft, chaste kiss. It was a fleeting touch not unlike the butterflies he could recall that she could create in their time past to distract him from his work. There was so much of her here that it made his heart ache knowing that there was still so much left for her to remember, relearn. ]
You needn't fret like this. You have nothing to fear from regaining your memories.
[She's about to protest when he moves her but the words die in her throat as to why he thought it was a good idea. For his words were not just empty promises or clinging onto small shreds of hope. If he had found her before arriving on the First, she would forsake her allies to stay with someone who cares for her. What exactly did that say about how Yua felt during her time on the Source?
But then this journey began and Yua had seen how the group had changed somewhat.
She would have jumped immediately at the chance. But now? To be torn between duty and love...the kiss soothes her some but the idea of gaining something and to lose something in exchange, that still worries her. Just...who was she? Warrior of Light? Hope? This ancient being of long ago? Wild Card? Just who is she?]
This functional broken mess? I honestly have no idea who I am right now. But what I do know is that I feel easier around you. Despite everything, I can talk to you and get a straight answer.
[He won't tell her about unknown memories but there's a good reason why. So why does she feel like others are hiding a secret from her?]
Yet the words were stuck in his throat as he continued to hold her face so carefully. Those memories pulled at his heart. A part of him wanted nothing more than to help her to remember. If being in his company, his embrace would be the trigger then he had half a mind to spend another night bringing her to completion over and over again. To see her soul flare up in recognizable hues as she cried out his name. But he could see how weary she was as he kissed her forehead now. There would be other nights -and days, even.
In place of this, he merely allowed for a half smile to tug at his lips. ]
I did say I would never lie to you. Though I find myself flattered that would favor my company over those of your comrades.
[ A hand moved now from her cheek to run fingers through her hair once more, though not without one more caress of his thumb across her cheek. ]
[She said she could speak round him without worry and telling him her feelings...now it is time to put her money where her mouth is. To express herself in how she had been feeling for some time about her comrades, her state of things, the Exarch...but also she hasn't forgotten that they are also enemies. That this can be used against her somehow but it's a small portion. Yua just appreciates just being loved for once.
'But does he love you or who you were?'
Why would she think that now?]
Sometimes I feel...like I'm not really a part of them. That for some, I am no more than something to be pointed at and to get rid of the thing like a weapon. It's been like this for some time, years even, but it's only starting to be a little better. But I can't help but wonder if they see me or the Warrior of Light.
[ All Hades could do was listen. After all, he had promised her he would. With an expression that carefully hid what he was thinking his hands began to move slowly, carefully, down to her shoulders, pausing there for the moment. As if to hold her steady as these words poured out into the air. ] ... What would you do, then, were they to see as a pawn instead of the woman that you are?
[What would she do indeed. Her eyes widen because what if...there's no way Alisaie and Alphinaud saw her as such and Ryne showed an amount of care for her, even going after her when Yua had stormed out of the Ocular. They wouldn't treat her as such after learning from such mistakes like Alphinaud did with the Crystal Braves and his treatment of her before Ishgard. Alisaie's had to learn to find her own way after Louisoix's disappearance and death. And Ryne's seeing that she isn't just a shadow of the Oracle, of Minfilia.
But what about the adults? She hates to say it but the only one who is slowly coming around and showing some sort of care has been Y'shtola of all people. The same woman who Yua had argued with, called her heartless and a liar since she's hidden her condition from everyone else. And yet...she was the one who called Urianger out on hiding on what was going on with her. She and Ryne were the ones who showed concern about how her aether is like and weren't going to maul the ascian because he is actually helping her somehow.
But Urianger? Thancred? The Exarch? What about them? She's tried to speak to the Exarch before but got turned away every time. It makes her unsure.]
I...don't know. There's no one else who can do what I can. And if they do feel like I am only a weapon, then wouldn't I be trapped? That no one can bring salvation except me? Why am I the one to do it constantly? If not this universe but on Earth as well? Why always call me Hope when it feels like the fates like to rest everything on the shoulders of one?
[ Her expression was much too simple for him to read. Just as always she wore her heart on her sleeve. Hades could only imagine the thoughts running through her head at his words-- evaluating her relationships with each and everyone of those lesser beings, all while he held her closer. ]
You do not owe them anything, dear. It is out of the kindness of your heart that you continue to abide by their requests and even adhere to their demands.
[ When he leaned forward, it was to press another kiss upon her, this one to her jawline. Yes, that was a sensitive spot for her, but he was not going back on his promise. He was listening. Offering words for her to consider. And also gestures of succor and comfort to ease the troubled woman. His lips brushed against her skin with every word he breathed. ]
Yet it is that same kindness that will be turned against you should you continue to entertain their expectations. They grow dependent. But you are not solely responsible for them. For this Star. For anyone. The only one you are responsible for is yourself. Anything more... and you will burn out. Like a candle.
[She shudders at the contact, closing her eyes at the gentleness of his touches. Kami, how long has it been since someone told her that she needs to take care of herself? It's always been 'rest then solve this problem', a constant in her life even as a teenager.]
It did burn out, remember? Over and over until they deemed it to be enough and left what is before you.
[Telling him about Moebius and the many times that she did die, that her light was constantly snuffed again and again. That her time in Liminal Space where that flame almost died for good with how many times she was kicked into the dirt, left behind, or almost lost herself. Where only one person had the stones to say "Hey, don't go Empty on me." She's had the Scions tell her to rest but how often does she hear 'Are you feeling ok?' How can she explain a thing like Liminal to them? How can she explain the concept of Personas to them?]
So why does Hydaelyn deem it that it should only be one to seal the deal? Despite the matters of never doing this alone, it feels like the opposite. Not to mention that there's something I've kept quiet about for years...that they may wonder if it is possible for me to reach it again.
[And a secret to him too. But how many could she talk to about this power of her very soul?]
[ His small, light kisses continue for a few beats, before Hades pulled back some, though without relinquishing his embrace of her. His steady gaze was fixated on her as he listened. Memories of their conversation about this Moebius resurfaced and his fingers twitched upon remembering what she had suffered. ]
Ah, yes. What we had discussed the other night.
[ He would find out more about this being one way or another. Preference being that Yua would tell him, eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later. But instead of acting upon this flare of an emotion, he only shook his head. ]
Because the Mother is cruel to her daughter. She is selfish and blind to your suffering, thinking it is most convenient for her to force all of this responsibility on your soul.
[ Tilting his head a fraction to the side, he searched her expression, her words a curious thing. Though he did not voice his curiosity, it was very plain on his face, expecting her to go on. ]
...just like most. What does the suffering of one matter as long as the job gets done? One life for one world they say.
[She's starting to feel that despair again, her aether retreating into herself as she feels his fingers twitch. Whether it is from her or the memory of Moebius, she can't help but wonder if there's something she's said wrong. Or maybe...just maybe...Hades shakes because of concern. Of care. When was the last time she had someone hold her and tell her that everything will be okay? She can't help but cast her eyes downwards, almost in shame.]
If I tell them what I've been hiding...they'll see me as a weapon. Force me to find a way to call it out and use it and...I can't.
[ Before her aether can retreat entirely his own reaches out to curl around her. To hold her as he was now, physically. What were small twitches of frustration soon turned into light touches to soothe the troubled soul. Another kiss, to her brow this time, as he refuses to relinquish either form of contact with her. ]
They cannot force you. Should they try, refuse them.
[ Nudging her nose with his now, his lips ghost over her own. ]
And if they persist-- you will tell me. And I will take care of everything.
[Comfort. That's how she can describe it. Yua can wrap herself around it and not want to leave for the longest time, to let herself have time to rest and maybe get lost in a good dream. But what stops her? She absolutely hates Lakshimi on principle but also because it meant running away from all her problems and she's always been told and learned to keep moving forward.
But was learning about who she was running away from her issues?]
If they try that...I do not think Izanagi will be very pleased.
[Mainly because she will be pissed and as a part of her, so will her personas.]
And while I will tell you, I do not want you to harm them. I know what you mean by 'taking care' and no.
[ His own expression lacking in revealing his own thoughts, he could tell that she would remain firm in this. No matter how much he disagreed with her protective behavior of the ones that were not worthy of her addressing as 'friends'. Eventually, though, he conceded with an exasperated sigh that was accompanied by him shaking his head. ]
I was merely offering to make matters simpler for you, but very well. I shall refrain.
[ For now.
Shifting his attention, he brushed a loose tuft of hair from her cheek. His tone took on a note of genuine curiosity when he spoke up once more. ]
[She's tempted to mention that simpler means killing and no, there will be no killing of those people because they're needed and Yua actually likes the kids. Y'shtola is growing on her a bit too. But there sounds to be curiosity on his end when she mentions her main Persona. Would he be able to understand it? Would he think less of her?
Taking a breath, she sets a hand over her heart. Might as well.]
Have you...ever heard of those who can use their souls as means to fight? A mask to use against those who would want to cause harm? There's a name for it back on Earth...Persona.
[Mind and soul but man does anyone want to hear about Jung's theories?]
It's not very common among people but there are select few who are able to do this. Not born with it but awakened.
[ Neither the word 'Persona' nor her description of wielding one's soul as a weapon were familiar to him. A concept unheard of, yet he could not help his curiosity being piqued by the notion. The barest tilt of his head to signal that his attention was held still, the white lock of his hair swayed slightly with the motion. ]
I cannot say this is something I have witnessed before.
[ His people. They're people were creators and thinkers. Not warriors or fighters. ]
So in this matter, this Izanagi... it is a manifestation of your soul?
[ With her soul already fractured as is, he could not fathom what this could mean for her incomplete one. ]
[She nods as her hand flexes as if there was something that is supposed to happen but it doesn't show.]
...one of them. While people can be awakened to this power, my case stands out. When they awaken, they only have one. I on the other hand...well, I can call a bit over twenty.
[Said as she bites her lower lip. She doubts her past self could ever do that but Yua can. Izanagi is only the first persona she awakened to and then learning more about the Velvet Room...hoo boy.]
I can't call them here because I think some kind of higher cosmic power thought it might be too much for this universe to handle. I can feel them but can't call them out if it makes sense?
[ Noting how her hand flexes, he take gentle hold, fingers wrapping around her fingers, his thumb now caressing the inside of her palm. A small, gentle gesture of comfort. ]
Perhaps.
[ Her past self had certainly not mentioned being capable of any such thing. But she had been an extraordinary being in all her own ways still. Something that he saw in the flickering soul that was the woman before him. Lifting her hand he kept his gaze leveled with Yua's, his lips brushing over her knuckles. ]
Though you seem troubled by this, it may be in your favor. At least for the time being. Between the blessings of her- [ There is a sharp edge to his tone when he speaks of Hydaelyn without uttering her name. ] -and the light that surges through your body, it could very well be more than your soul can handle.
[The fact that she moves closer when he kisses her, means not only is she comfortable but wants to feel that comfort after feeling like she's been away from it for so long. (It's only been a day or two honestly) Leaning into him, her ears pin to her sides and nuzzles into Hades's neck.]
I just want to know what all this light is going to be used for. The Exarch refuses to tell me and it's getting harder to trust him.
[The little trust that she had for him anyway. An alliance of circumstance, no more than that. He may have pretty words and kind gestures and the respect of the Crystarium but to Yua, he reminds her of being back in Liminal Space. Why won't he tell her and just give the vague answer of all will be revealed in due time? Yua knows that it's a bullshit answer. Outside of the kids and Y'shtola...it feels like the one she can trust the most is the ascian holding her.]
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vieraofinaba) wrote2019-11-26 01:23 pm
Part 4
Naturally, it's a shitstorm.
Everyone is screaming at her because Alphinaud DID come to see her, only to find that Hades had scolded the boy and told him to let her be. He kept looking at her for a brief moment then away as if there's some kind of shame; not sure from which side honestly. It was the beginning of cracks to show in the foundation of the Scions as they learn that Yua did not deny having the ascian stay with her. And much more, how she was concerned about the tainted Light she was carrying within her and no one was bothering to tell her why or what to do with it.
She knew she stung the Crystal Exarch with her words and she wanted him to feel it. Oh she could see the signs of hero worship within him, after all, Asahi had it for Zenos and Alphinaud and Alisaie had it big for her during their early journey but this was ridiculous. For someone wanting to help her and save the world, he's keeping her in the dark and she has to agree with Y'shtola on not being able to trust him. Surely you could trust the same man who gave you connections to the Crystarium and have the run of the place, right? And yet, Yua couldn't help but wonder how much was he watching and how far it had gotten. No, he could never...perhaps not before but-! To someone else, the gesture is welcome and yet, now she feels uneasy. The only thing she doesn't feel uneasy on is Minfilia, the sweet child. She even came to check in on her after she stormed out and tried to talk to her. The conversation was enough to make her want to go seek out the original Oracle and make her choice. And so the group traveled to Amh Arang to seek out their fates but not without a few bumps in the road.
Seriously, fuck you Ran'jit.
They came to the desert with a girl named Minfilia and returned to the Crystarium with another named Ryne. Yua liked the new name and look, made her stand out more and gods did they need color; almost everyone within the immediate Scions had blond, silver or white hair, Yua included. But as they returned to the Crystal Tower, Ryne couldn't help but notice something.
"Yua? Did you know there's some dark aether within you?"
"Huh?"
"I can sense both the Light and the Dark in your body."
Y'shtola herself couldn't put her finger as to why since before, she could only sense the Lightwarden's aether pulse within her but Ryne speaks again.
"I think...that might be Emet-Selch's doing. Somehow his aether must have gotten combined with yours and is helping you."
Yua knew that both times she and Hades had made love or even gotten close, their aether seemed to dance together, let it seep into her body as a way to calm her. It surprised the miqo'te to learn that it was an ascian of all people helping out the Warrior that she had to ask if she was sure.
"No, I think...Ryne is right. There were a few times that I had felt his aether around me and mine around him." Yua had to speak up and thankfully the man was not nearby otherwise he would have crowed at the attention, being smug that somehow HE helped her and they did not. Afterwards, they told Yua to go rest for a bit with Y'shtola adding on a 'I will take you over my knee if you don't' line followed by Yua replying with "Don't give him ideas."
Look, she made a dirty joke and it took everything for Yua not to bite back. Ryne might be a teenager but Thancred and Urianger would kill their Warrior if she did that. Dads, she swears.
However as the sun was setting, turning the sky into a sea of glistening stars, Yua finds herself walking around the city as she takes the scenic route back to the Pendants. And yet, she hums a tune that she knows nothing about but feels like she does.]
THIS IS SO SHORT I'M SORRY I HAVE HAD WRITER'S BLOCK FOR SO LONG next tag will have introspect
While it would have been more logical to remain in the shadows he found himself enjoying the security of napping in a tree. One of his more foolish habits as he knew Elidibus would remind him. But some habits, going as far back as they did, were difficult to break. And it went without saying that his presence was not welcomed under the eyes of the Exarch and the Scions within the Crystarium. Which was why as an added precaution he had favored a glamour to cloak his presence should anyone be unfortunate enough to spot the man so well hidden in the tree. And for a time it was simply that. The peace of solidarity that he was determined to focus on over the whirlwind that was his mind.
This peace was shattered the moment the familiar notes of one's humming reached his ears. His body went still as his eyes opened. For one beat, then two, he was frozen. The melody itself had registered first in his mind before it clicked as to the source of the voice.
In the blink of an eye Hades had moved from his perch in the tree to the ground below. His footsteps made hardly a sound as he moved to follow after the Warrior of Darkness, to ensure that no one was around or following her. He did not announce his presence until he was close enough for her to hear him. ]
I hope you had slept well, hero.
[ His voice was low, just a notch above a whisper. She would not have seen him but his words would have been heard so very close to her ear. ]
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's ok, it's wonderful <3
Better when you are around. It has been a bit of a tiring trip this time around.
[Was he to her right now or left? Has he moved? Why go invisible now? Did he happen to run into the Exarch or something?]
But I'm wondering why you're not showing yourself. Did something happen while I was gone?
I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON WHO IS TERRIBLE AT TAGGING YEAH
The boy came to your suite with the intention of waking you this morning. I merely instructed him that he and your companions were to leave you be until you had fully recovered.
[ Even though his glamour remained she would absolutely be able to tell the wicked grin on his lips as he went on. ]
Of course the mere sight of me in your chambers would not have sat well with your friends and have opted to remain out of sight for a short period. It has proven to be rather entertaining thus far.
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[That talk they had did help make things a little better; she knows the Oracle has only been told about the ascians' deeds and her viewpoint may sound naive to most. But maybe the bias wasn't needed for this. Speaking of the girl--]
She told me something interesting too; that I seem to have both Light and Dark aether in my body now. Would you know anything about that?
[Rather curious but she wanted to have it confirmed. Yua doesn't feel as off kilter like before.]
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My, my-- to think out of all from your lot it would be the youngest to be so... accepting. Perhaps there is something to be said about youth nowadays.
[ Somber, but not without losing that cheek of his.
The hand at her back flexed, his fingers curling inwards ever so slightly when Yua spoke of the Oracle's observations. Of course the child would have noticed. From his lips a quiet sigh slipped free while his hand then slid across to her hip, a gentle tug to bring her to his side. He matched her steps as they walked but perhaps a destination should be decided upon sooner rather than later. ]
It is hardly a difficult matter to comprehend. Where there is light, there is dark. An abundance of light must needs be balanced and who better to balance the effects of the Light raging its war within you than myself.
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She's a good kid and willing to make her own choices. Not many would at her age and I just sounded like an adult now. Boy is that awkward.
[Her steps decide to guide them both towards the Pendants since it would be the safest.]
You...wouldn't be harmed by all that light would you?
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You have more than enough to be concerned over, hero. It will do you no good to fret over yet another soul.
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I can't help it, been like this for awhile. And that includes you.
[She wants to be able to touch him soon. Mainly because he strangely feels nice to hold, that welcoming comfort. When she sees the familiar door, Yua takes no time in opening it and reaches for his arm, holding it tightly.]
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Your worrying is unnecessary, my dear.
[ He said this simply, coupling his words with a small wave of his hand, as if he were trying to bat away said concerns. ]
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[And it's a good thing he can finally be seen because Yua will take her other hand and place it behind his head while she moves to close the gap between them with a kiss. Quick for sure but gods, Yua wanted to do that since she came back.]
Hells, I've been wanting to do that since coming back.
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[ For a split second he was caught off guard by her taking the lead so suddenylu. And quick though it was, Hades chuckled lightly, the arm that was not restrained reaching up to caress her cheek. His gloved fingers cupped her face, his hooded gaze fixed intently on her. ]
Did you truly miss me so much?
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[And it seems that he did too if he's looking at her so.]
It was not too bad except for Ran'jit trying to chase us again. But there was a shoebill following us almost the entire time while we were there. I would have brought it back but it decided to go away after defeating the Lightwarden.
[It liked her and Ryne for some reason. Weird.]
It just makes coming back to you all the nicer.
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[ Whether or not he knew anything about the aforementioned shoebill, he doesn't offer any sign or hint of it. Instead, he allows himself another lingering moment of maintaining their connection of touch, before letting his hand drop from her cheek, now moving to hold her chin with thumb pressed below her lower lip. ]
Your unabashed honesty is quite endearing. Though perhaps you shouldn't let your companions hear you say that.
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[Thanks Alphinaud. Or was it Hades by answering the door?]
Although...they don't know about what I've been seeing of the city with the spires. I wouldn't even know how to begin with that.
[Or speak of their history. It's still a blur for her but she keeps seeing the place in her dreams. The same people in robes and masks and the same melody from a few nights ago. It's weird.]
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[ At least, not yet. While the woman he was holding carefully in his hands to show promise, the others were still lacking in his eyes. Still they reminded blinded by their own path and not ready for the truth. Unworthy, even.
He then pressed a kiss to her forehead. A fleeting moment for affection. ]
T'would seem your journey today was a long one. I imagine you would prefer a quiet night of rest.
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[How would that look in their eyes? Not only is their Champion sleeping with the enemy but has been getting flashes of memories that has no idea about? Either an ascian or he would be manipulating her. She doesn't believe he is considering how spooked he's been so far when it comes to her revelations. Alas, Hades would be correct on one thing:]
Quiet would be nice...do you mind staying with me?
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[ There is a playful tone to his voice as he pulls back a fraction. But not enough to free him from her grip on his arm that is. Hades showed no signs of attempting to exit though, tapping his chin in a thoughtful manner despite this request requiring no thought at all. ]
Perhaps I could be persuaded.
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[Does it involve begging? Or perhaps it is a simple matter of a gesture?]
Perhaps another kiss is in order?
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[ With one final caress of her cheek, the Ascian made a motion to step out of her hold. ]
Change into something more comfortable and I will await your answer while I rest my head. I had been in the middle of a nap before you had awakened me.
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She speaks nothing of 'no peeking' since Hades already has seen her laid bare to him a couple times by now, therefore it being redundant to say anything. Yua does manage to change into a button down shirt and a simple pair of blue jean shorts. He did say comfortable, right?]
Oh dear, now I have to wonder how I did that. Did my aether come out and bug you or something?
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The corner of his mouth twitched, as if to fight back from an amused smile. ]
It is somewhat difficult to sleep when someone decides to stroll by humming so loudly.
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I didn't realize you would be in that exact spot. But I do find myself humming that tune a bit more lately. It's rather odd.
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Hardly odd when you consider the circumstances. Unless you're implying you'd rather not be remembering and prefer to be blinded by this fog of your incomplete view of the matters at hand.
[ Though his words were a touch biting, harsh even, gloved fingers lightly trailed down her side as if to act in place of a soothing balm for them. ]
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Not at all. But I have to wonder...did I know it then?
[But why that particular song? And how? Yua was good at playing music but not singing so why...?]
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You did. That was how I knew whenever you were in a particularly pleasant mood-- you would hum that melody each and every time something went well for you.
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And now...what next? She and the Scions are undoing all of his work and he seems to be fine with it? She feels like there's something she cannot connect, just like these memories. Will she change if she remembers them all? Would she lose herself? Yua can't tell but her thoughts calm down when she feels his fingers through her hair.]
Wish I can remember the words...or how I came across it.
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She had to retain her memories at her own pace and he could not rush this, no matter how much he wished to. With her soul still only partially whole too many memories could easily overwhelm the viera and harm her, or worse-- he frowned at the thought and immediately set it aside. It would do him no good to dwell on the what ifs.
Continuing to play with fiddle with her hair Hades finally opened his eyes, gaze fixated on the ceiling. ]
I am certain you will. You've come this far already after all. Now it's simply a matter of time.
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It just surprised me. I've never been good at singing before and just accepted it and now this? What else am I not aware of?
[And what else is lurking underneath the surface? Was she...a horrible person before? Maybe it's some kind of karma that made her go through a lot of the crap she went through. The thought makes make her feel tense, unable to help it.]
And what will happen if they find out?
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With a faint sigh he coaxed Yua to move--] Up. [--helping to shift her body until she was straddling his waist, all while he easing himself to sit up right. Then, framing her face in his hands as his thumbs were now stroking the tops of her cheeks in a soothing gesture. ]
My dear, you are so much more than those you choose to surround yourself with. Should they forsake you or turn you away for who you truly are then know that you still have your place by my side.
[ Then, leaning forward, Hades brushed his lips against her own, a soft, chaste kiss. It was a fleeting touch not unlike the butterflies he could recall that she could create in their time past to distract him from his work. There was so much of her here that it made his heart ache knowing that there was still so much left for her to remember, relearn. ]
You needn't fret like this. You have nothing to fear from regaining your memories.
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But then this journey began and Yua had seen how the group had changed somewhat.
She would have jumped immediately at the chance. But now? To be torn between duty and love...the kiss soothes her some but the idea of gaining something and to lose something in exchange, that still worries her. Just...who was she? Warrior of Light? Hope? This ancient being of long ago? Wild Card? Just who is she?]
This functional broken mess? I honestly have no idea who I am right now. But what I do know is that I feel easier around you. Despite everything, I can talk to you and get a straight answer.
[He won't tell her about unknown memories but there's a good reason why. So why does she feel like others are hiding a secret from her?]
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Yet the words were stuck in his throat as he continued to hold her face so carefully. Those memories pulled at his heart. A part of him wanted nothing more than to help her to remember. If being in his company, his embrace would be the trigger then he had half a mind to spend another night bringing her to completion over and over again. To see her soul flare up in recognizable hues as she cried out his name. But he could see how weary she was as he kissed her forehead now. There would be other nights -and days, even.
In place of this, he merely allowed for a half smile to tug at his lips. ]
I did say I would never lie to you. Though I find myself flattered that would favor my company over those of your comrades.
[ A hand moved now from her cheek to run fingers through her hair once more, though not without one more caress of his thumb across her cheek. ]
Tell me, hero. Speak freely and I will listen.
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'But does he love you or who you were?'
Why would she think that now?]
Sometimes I feel...like I'm not really a part of them. That for some, I am no more than something to be pointed at and to get rid of the thing like a weapon. It's been like this for some time, years even, but it's only starting to be a little better. But I can't help but wonder if they see me or the Warrior of Light.
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But what about the adults? She hates to say it but the only one who is slowly coming around and showing some sort of care has been Y'shtola of all people. The same woman who Yua had argued with, called her heartless and a liar since she's hidden her condition from everyone else. And yet...she was the one who called Urianger out on hiding on what was going on with her. She and Ryne were the ones who showed concern about how her aether is like and weren't going to maul the ascian because he is actually helping her somehow.
But Urianger? Thancred? The Exarch? What about them? She's tried to speak to the Exarch before but got turned away every time. It makes her unsure.]
I...don't know. There's no one else who can do what I can. And if they do feel like I am only a weapon, then wouldn't I be trapped? That no one can bring salvation except me? Why am I the one to do it constantly? If not this universe but on Earth as well? Why always call me Hope when it feels like the fates like to rest everything on the shoulders of one?
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You do not owe them anything, dear. It is out of the kindness of your heart that you continue to abide by their requests and even adhere to their demands.
[ When he leaned forward, it was to press another kiss upon her, this one to her jawline. Yes, that was a sensitive spot for her, but he was not going back on his promise. He was listening. Offering words for her to consider. And also gestures of succor and comfort to ease the troubled woman. His lips brushed against her skin with every word he breathed. ]
Yet it is that same kindness that will be turned against you should you continue to entertain their expectations. They grow dependent. But you are not solely responsible for them. For this Star. For anyone. The only one you are responsible for is yourself. Anything more... and you will burn out. Like a candle.
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It did burn out, remember? Over and over until they deemed it to be enough and left what is before you.
[Telling him about Moebius and the many times that she did die, that her light was constantly snuffed again and again. That her time in Liminal Space where that flame almost died for good with how many times she was kicked into the dirt, left behind, or almost lost herself. Where only one person had the stones to say "Hey, don't go Empty on me." She's had the Scions tell her to rest but how often does she hear 'Are you feeling ok?' How can she explain a thing like Liminal to them? How can she explain the concept of Personas to them?]
So why does Hydaelyn deem it that it should only be one to seal the deal? Despite the matters of never doing this alone, it feels like the opposite. Not to mention that there's something I've kept quiet about for years...that they may wonder if it is possible for me to reach it again.
[And a secret to him too. But how many could she talk to about this power of her very soul?]
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Ah, yes. What we had discussed the other night.
[ He would find out more about this being one way or another. Preference being that Yua would tell him, eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later. But instead of acting upon this flare of an emotion, he only shook his head. ]
Because the Mother is cruel to her daughter. She is selfish and blind to your suffering, thinking it is most convenient for her to force all of this responsibility on your soul.
[ Tilting his head a fraction to the side, he searched her expression, her words a curious thing. Though he did not voice his curiosity, it was very plain on his face, expecting her to go on. ]
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[She's starting to feel that despair again, her aether retreating into herself as she feels his fingers twitch. Whether it is from her or the memory of Moebius, she can't help but wonder if there's something she's said wrong. Or maybe...just maybe...Hades shakes because of concern. Of care. When was the last time she had someone hold her and tell her that everything will be okay? She can't help but cast her eyes downwards, almost in shame.]
If I tell them what I've been hiding...they'll see me as a weapon. Force me to find a way to call it out and use it and...I can't.
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They cannot force you. Should they try, refuse them.
[ Nudging her nose with his now, his lips ghost over her own. ]
And if they persist-- you will tell me. And I will take care of everything.
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But was learning about who she was running away from her issues?]
If they try that...I do not think Izanagi will be very pleased.
[Mainly because she will be pissed and as a part of her, so will her personas.]
And while I will tell you, I do not want you to harm them. I know what you mean by 'taking care' and no.
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I was merely offering to make matters simpler for you, but very well. I shall refrain.
[ For now.
Shifting his attention, he brushed a loose tuft of hair from her cheek. His tone took on a note of genuine curiosity when he spoke up once more. ]
Tell me about this Izanagi.
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Taking a breath, she sets a hand over her heart. Might as well.]
Have you...ever heard of those who can use their souls as means to fight? A mask to use against those who would want to cause harm? There's a name for it back on Earth...Persona.
[Mind and soul but man does anyone want to hear about Jung's theories?]
It's not very common among people but there are select few who are able to do this. Not born with it but awakened.
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I cannot say this is something I have witnessed before.
[ His people. They're people were creators and thinkers. Not warriors or fighters. ]
So in this matter, this Izanagi... it is a manifestation of your soul?
[ With her soul already fractured as is, he could not fathom what this could mean for her incomplete one. ]
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...one of them. While people can be awakened to this power, my case stands out. When they awaken, they only have one. I on the other hand...well, I can call a bit over twenty.
[Said as she bites her lower lip. She doubts her past self could ever do that but Yua can. Izanagi is only the first persona she awakened to and then learning more about the Velvet Room...hoo boy.]
I can't call them here because I think some kind of higher cosmic power thought it might be too much for this universe to handle. I can feel them but can't call them out if it makes sense?
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Perhaps.
[ Her past self had certainly not mentioned being capable of any such thing. But she had been an extraordinary being in all her own ways still. Something that he saw in the flickering soul that was the woman before him. Lifting her hand he kept his gaze leveled with Yua's, his lips brushing over her knuckles. ]
Though you seem troubled by this, it may be in your favor. At least for the time being. Between the blessings of her- [ There is a sharp edge to his tone when he speaks of Hydaelyn without uttering her name. ] -and the light that surges through your body, it could very well be more than your soul can handle.
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I just want to know what all this light is going to be used for. The Exarch refuses to tell me and it's getting harder to trust him.
[The little trust that she had for him anyway. An alliance of circumstance, no more than that. He may have pretty words and kind gestures and the respect of the Crystarium but to Yua, he reminds her of being back in Liminal Space. Why won't he tell her and just give the vague answer of all will be revealed in due time? Yua knows that it's a bullshit answer. Outside of the kids and Y'shtola...it feels like the one she can trust the most is the ascian holding her.]