[ All Hades could do was listen. After all, he had promised her he would. With an expression that carefully hid what he was thinking his hands began to move slowly, carefully, down to her shoulders, pausing there for the moment. As if to hold her steady as these words poured out into the air. ] ... What would you do, then, were they to see as a pawn instead of the woman that you are?
[What would she do indeed. Her eyes widen because what if...there's no way Alisaie and Alphinaud saw her as such and Ryne showed an amount of care for her, even going after her when Yua had stormed out of the Ocular. They wouldn't treat her as such after learning from such mistakes like Alphinaud did with the Crystal Braves and his treatment of her before Ishgard. Alisaie's had to learn to find her own way after Louisoix's disappearance and death. And Ryne's seeing that she isn't just a shadow of the Oracle, of Minfilia.
But what about the adults? She hates to say it but the only one who is slowly coming around and showing some sort of care has been Y'shtola of all people. The same woman who Yua had argued with, called her heartless and a liar since she's hidden her condition from everyone else. And yet...she was the one who called Urianger out on hiding on what was going on with her. She and Ryne were the ones who showed concern about how her aether is like and weren't going to maul the ascian because he is actually helping her somehow.
But Urianger? Thancred? The Exarch? What about them? She's tried to speak to the Exarch before but got turned away every time. It makes her unsure.]
I...don't know. There's no one else who can do what I can. And if they do feel like I am only a weapon, then wouldn't I be trapped? That no one can bring salvation except me? Why am I the one to do it constantly? If not this universe but on Earth as well? Why always call me Hope when it feels like the fates like to rest everything on the shoulders of one?
[ Her expression was much too simple for him to read. Just as always she wore her heart on her sleeve. Hades could only imagine the thoughts running through her head at his words-- evaluating her relationships with each and everyone of those lesser beings, all while he held her closer. ]
You do not owe them anything, dear. It is out of the kindness of your heart that you continue to abide by their requests and even adhere to their demands.
[ When he leaned forward, it was to press another kiss upon her, this one to her jawline. Yes, that was a sensitive spot for her, but he was not going back on his promise. He was listening. Offering words for her to consider. And also gestures of succor and comfort to ease the troubled woman. His lips brushed against her skin with every word he breathed. ]
Yet it is that same kindness that will be turned against you should you continue to entertain their expectations. They grow dependent. But you are not solely responsible for them. For this Star. For anyone. The only one you are responsible for is yourself. Anything more... and you will burn out. Like a candle.
[She shudders at the contact, closing her eyes at the gentleness of his touches. Kami, how long has it been since someone told her that she needs to take care of herself? It's always been 'rest then solve this problem', a constant in her life even as a teenager.]
It did burn out, remember? Over and over until they deemed it to be enough and left what is before you.
[Telling him about Moebius and the many times that she did die, that her light was constantly snuffed again and again. That her time in Liminal Space where that flame almost died for good with how many times she was kicked into the dirt, left behind, or almost lost herself. Where only one person had the stones to say "Hey, don't go Empty on me." She's had the Scions tell her to rest but how often does she hear 'Are you feeling ok?' How can she explain a thing like Liminal to them? How can she explain the concept of Personas to them?]
So why does Hydaelyn deem it that it should only be one to seal the deal? Despite the matters of never doing this alone, it feels like the opposite. Not to mention that there's something I've kept quiet about for years...that they may wonder if it is possible for me to reach it again.
[And a secret to him too. But how many could she talk to about this power of her very soul?]
[ His small, light kisses continue for a few beats, before Hades pulled back some, though without relinquishing his embrace of her. His steady gaze was fixated on her as he listened. Memories of their conversation about this Moebius resurfaced and his fingers twitched upon remembering what she had suffered. ]
Ah, yes. What we had discussed the other night.
[ He would find out more about this being one way or another. Preference being that Yua would tell him, eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later. But instead of acting upon this flare of an emotion, he only shook his head. ]
Because the Mother is cruel to her daughter. She is selfish and blind to your suffering, thinking it is most convenient for her to force all of this responsibility on your soul.
[ Tilting his head a fraction to the side, he searched her expression, her words a curious thing. Though he did not voice his curiosity, it was very plain on his face, expecting her to go on. ]
...just like most. What does the suffering of one matter as long as the job gets done? One life for one world they say.
[She's starting to feel that despair again, her aether retreating into herself as she feels his fingers twitch. Whether it is from her or the memory of Moebius, she can't help but wonder if there's something she's said wrong. Or maybe...just maybe...Hades shakes because of concern. Of care. When was the last time she had someone hold her and tell her that everything will be okay? She can't help but cast her eyes downwards, almost in shame.]
If I tell them what I've been hiding...they'll see me as a weapon. Force me to find a way to call it out and use it and...I can't.
[ Before her aether can retreat entirely his own reaches out to curl around her. To hold her as he was now, physically. What were small twitches of frustration soon turned into light touches to soothe the troubled soul. Another kiss, to her brow this time, as he refuses to relinquish either form of contact with her. ]
They cannot force you. Should they try, refuse them.
[ Nudging her nose with his now, his lips ghost over her own. ]
And if they persist-- you will tell me. And I will take care of everything.
[Comfort. That's how she can describe it. Yua can wrap herself around it and not want to leave for the longest time, to let herself have time to rest and maybe get lost in a good dream. But what stops her? She absolutely hates Lakshimi on principle but also because it meant running away from all her problems and she's always been told and learned to keep moving forward.
But was learning about who she was running away from her issues?]
If they try that...I do not think Izanagi will be very pleased.
[Mainly because she will be pissed and as a part of her, so will her personas.]
And while I will tell you, I do not want you to harm them. I know what you mean by 'taking care' and no.
[ His own expression lacking in revealing his own thoughts, he could tell that she would remain firm in this. No matter how much he disagreed with her protective behavior of the ones that were not worthy of her addressing as 'friends'. Eventually, though, he conceded with an exasperated sigh that was accompanied by him shaking his head. ]
I was merely offering to make matters simpler for you, but very well. I shall refrain.
[ For now.
Shifting his attention, he brushed a loose tuft of hair from her cheek. His tone took on a note of genuine curiosity when he spoke up once more. ]
[She's tempted to mention that simpler means killing and no, there will be no killing of those people because they're needed and Yua actually likes the kids. Y'shtola is growing on her a bit too. But there sounds to be curiosity on his end when she mentions her main Persona. Would he be able to understand it? Would he think less of her?
Taking a breath, she sets a hand over her heart. Might as well.]
Have you...ever heard of those who can use their souls as means to fight? A mask to use against those who would want to cause harm? There's a name for it back on Earth...Persona.
[Mind and soul but man does anyone want to hear about Jung's theories?]
It's not very common among people but there are select few who are able to do this. Not born with it but awakened.
[ Neither the word 'Persona' nor her description of wielding one's soul as a weapon were familiar to him. A concept unheard of, yet he could not help his curiosity being piqued by the notion. The barest tilt of his head to signal that his attention was held still, the white lock of his hair swayed slightly with the motion. ]
I cannot say this is something I have witnessed before.
[ His people. They're people were creators and thinkers. Not warriors or fighters. ]
So in this matter, this Izanagi... it is a manifestation of your soul?
[ With her soul already fractured as is, he could not fathom what this could mean for her incomplete one. ]
[She nods as her hand flexes as if there was something that is supposed to happen but it doesn't show.]
...one of them. While people can be awakened to this power, my case stands out. When they awaken, they only have one. I on the other hand...well, I can call a bit over twenty.
[Said as she bites her lower lip. She doubts her past self could ever do that but Yua can. Izanagi is only the first persona she awakened to and then learning more about the Velvet Room...hoo boy.]
I can't call them here because I think some kind of higher cosmic power thought it might be too much for this universe to handle. I can feel them but can't call them out if it makes sense?
[ Noting how her hand flexes, he take gentle hold, fingers wrapping around her fingers, his thumb now caressing the inside of her palm. A small, gentle gesture of comfort. ]
Perhaps.
[ Her past self had certainly not mentioned being capable of any such thing. But she had been an extraordinary being in all her own ways still. Something that he saw in the flickering soul that was the woman before him. Lifting her hand he kept his gaze leveled with Yua's, his lips brushing over her knuckles. ]
Though you seem troubled by this, it may be in your favor. At least for the time being. Between the blessings of her- [ There is a sharp edge to his tone when he speaks of Hydaelyn without uttering her name. ] -and the light that surges through your body, it could very well be more than your soul can handle.
[The fact that she moves closer when he kisses her, means not only is she comfortable but wants to feel that comfort after feeling like she's been away from it for so long. (It's only been a day or two honestly) Leaning into him, her ears pin to her sides and nuzzles into Hades's neck.]
I just want to know what all this light is going to be used for. The Exarch refuses to tell me and it's getting harder to trust him.
[The little trust that she had for him anyway. An alliance of circumstance, no more than that. He may have pretty words and kind gestures and the respect of the Crystarium but to Yua, he reminds her of being back in Liminal Space. Why won't he tell her and just give the vague answer of all will be revealed in due time? Yua knows that it's a bullshit answer. Outside of the kids and Y'shtola...it feels like the one she can trust the most is the ascian holding her.]
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vieraofinaba) wrote2019-11-26 01:23 pm
no subject
no subject
But what about the adults? She hates to say it but the only one who is slowly coming around and showing some sort of care has been Y'shtola of all people. The same woman who Yua had argued with, called her heartless and a liar since she's hidden her condition from everyone else. And yet...she was the one who called Urianger out on hiding on what was going on with her. She and Ryne were the ones who showed concern about how her aether is like and weren't going to maul the ascian because he is actually helping her somehow.
But Urianger? Thancred? The Exarch? What about them? She's tried to speak to the Exarch before but got turned away every time. It makes her unsure.]
I...don't know. There's no one else who can do what I can. And if they do feel like I am only a weapon, then wouldn't I be trapped? That no one can bring salvation except me? Why am I the one to do it constantly? If not this universe but on Earth as well? Why always call me Hope when it feels like the fates like to rest everything on the shoulders of one?
no subject
You do not owe them anything, dear. It is out of the kindness of your heart that you continue to abide by their requests and even adhere to their demands.
[ When he leaned forward, it was to press another kiss upon her, this one to her jawline. Yes, that was a sensitive spot for her, but he was not going back on his promise. He was listening. Offering words for her to consider. And also gestures of succor and comfort to ease the troubled woman. His lips brushed against her skin with every word he breathed. ]
Yet it is that same kindness that will be turned against you should you continue to entertain their expectations. They grow dependent. But you are not solely responsible for them. For this Star. For anyone. The only one you are responsible for is yourself. Anything more... and you will burn out. Like a candle.
no subject
It did burn out, remember? Over and over until they deemed it to be enough and left what is before you.
[Telling him about Moebius and the many times that she did die, that her light was constantly snuffed again and again. That her time in Liminal Space where that flame almost died for good with how many times she was kicked into the dirt, left behind, or almost lost herself. Where only one person had the stones to say "Hey, don't go Empty on me." She's had the Scions tell her to rest but how often does she hear 'Are you feeling ok?' How can she explain a thing like Liminal to them? How can she explain the concept of Personas to them?]
So why does Hydaelyn deem it that it should only be one to seal the deal? Despite the matters of never doing this alone, it feels like the opposite. Not to mention that there's something I've kept quiet about for years...that they may wonder if it is possible for me to reach it again.
[And a secret to him too. But how many could she talk to about this power of her very soul?]
no subject
Ah, yes. What we had discussed the other night.
[ He would find out more about this being one way or another. Preference being that Yua would tell him, eventually, and hopefully sooner rather than later. But instead of acting upon this flare of an emotion, he only shook his head. ]
Because the Mother is cruel to her daughter. She is selfish and blind to your suffering, thinking it is most convenient for her to force all of this responsibility on your soul.
[ Tilting his head a fraction to the side, he searched her expression, her words a curious thing. Though he did not voice his curiosity, it was very plain on his face, expecting her to go on. ]
no subject
[She's starting to feel that despair again, her aether retreating into herself as she feels his fingers twitch. Whether it is from her or the memory of Moebius, she can't help but wonder if there's something she's said wrong. Or maybe...just maybe...Hades shakes because of concern. Of care. When was the last time she had someone hold her and tell her that everything will be okay? She can't help but cast her eyes downwards, almost in shame.]
If I tell them what I've been hiding...they'll see me as a weapon. Force me to find a way to call it out and use it and...I can't.
no subject
They cannot force you. Should they try, refuse them.
[ Nudging her nose with his now, his lips ghost over her own. ]
And if they persist-- you will tell me. And I will take care of everything.
no subject
But was learning about who she was running away from her issues?]
If they try that...I do not think Izanagi will be very pleased.
[Mainly because she will be pissed and as a part of her, so will her personas.]
And while I will tell you, I do not want you to harm them. I know what you mean by 'taking care' and no.
no subject
I was merely offering to make matters simpler for you, but very well. I shall refrain.
[ For now.
Shifting his attention, he brushed a loose tuft of hair from her cheek. His tone took on a note of genuine curiosity when he spoke up once more. ]
Tell me about this Izanagi.
no subject
Taking a breath, she sets a hand over her heart. Might as well.]
Have you...ever heard of those who can use their souls as means to fight? A mask to use against those who would want to cause harm? There's a name for it back on Earth...Persona.
[Mind and soul but man does anyone want to hear about Jung's theories?]
It's not very common among people but there are select few who are able to do this. Not born with it but awakened.
no subject
I cannot say this is something I have witnessed before.
[ His people. They're people were creators and thinkers. Not warriors or fighters. ]
So in this matter, this Izanagi... it is a manifestation of your soul?
[ With her soul already fractured as is, he could not fathom what this could mean for her incomplete one. ]
no subject
...one of them. While people can be awakened to this power, my case stands out. When they awaken, they only have one. I on the other hand...well, I can call a bit over twenty.
[Said as she bites her lower lip. She doubts her past self could ever do that but Yua can. Izanagi is only the first persona she awakened to and then learning more about the Velvet Room...hoo boy.]
I can't call them here because I think some kind of higher cosmic power thought it might be too much for this universe to handle. I can feel them but can't call them out if it makes sense?
no subject
Perhaps.
[ Her past self had certainly not mentioned being capable of any such thing. But she had been an extraordinary being in all her own ways still. Something that he saw in the flickering soul that was the woman before him. Lifting her hand he kept his gaze leveled with Yua's, his lips brushing over her knuckles. ]
Though you seem troubled by this, it may be in your favor. At least for the time being. Between the blessings of her- [ There is a sharp edge to his tone when he speaks of Hydaelyn without uttering her name. ] -and the light that surges through your body, it could very well be more than your soul can handle.
no subject
I just want to know what all this light is going to be used for. The Exarch refuses to tell me and it's getting harder to trust him.
[The little trust that she had for him anyway. An alliance of circumstance, no more than that. He may have pretty words and kind gestures and the respect of the Crystarium but to Yua, he reminds her of being back in Liminal Space. Why won't he tell her and just give the vague answer of all will be revealed in due time? Yua knows that it's a bullshit answer. Outside of the kids and Y'shtola...it feels like the one she can trust the most is the ascian holding her.]